What’s True

This morning came early and while I’m not sitting in complete darkness, I have that feeling of being ensconced in a cocoon, safe from the world beginning to wake up.

Coffee and candles help brighten the mood and a cacophony of layered blankets provide comfort and weight.

It’s almost freezing outside, but not until Tuesday, I hear.

Christmas is less than two weeks away and although I’m not “ready,” my lists are made, and a plan is clear.

Drawing names makes shopping easier but shopping for my grand baby Joaquin is always and fun and easy

and always will be.

From what I hear some of you are recent widows and we share some things in common.

Like waking up and going to sleep alone every night. 

It’s jarring, isn’t it?

And maybe redundant to say, but after a year since Alan’s death, these things are true, for me:

I still feel him gone from this physical world, acutely.

Still, I am consciously allowing new life to fill the empty spaces. It’s not always easy but benefits come from being present and aware. Learning to discern what is life giving versus life depleting. Look around you and see how heroic people are.

Holidays are not the same for everyone.

Even when socializing it feels like one of my battery-operated lights has been turned off. It may not be apparent to you and yet the empty void remains.  When I look out at our populated world, in my mind’s eye, I see so many dimmed or darkened lights. Imagine them shining again and sending love is what we are called to do.

Compassion grows.

What has always been a natural experience and part of life is now mine to learn from. I see and hear differently and respect my fellow travels more. Honor them and am not so quick to judge, from my limited perspective.

In some cultures, elders are honored because of their wisdom gained from long lives. I wish I had listened more and valued more when I was younger.My hope is I can be a wise elder for my children and they will see.

So, life is many things and expecting it to be one thing is foolhardy and a disservice to truth.

I have learned being born in to one world and then back again is so beautiful. It can’t be any other way and is the perfect design.

Love remains and grows if we choose.

It’s always a choice.

Don’t ever forget…

Whatever you celebrate, please celebrate well.

With love and gratitude,



Start each day from a point of nothingness. Clarity of creation starts from a point of nothing which is seen as “no-thing.”

Then, with everything stripped away within your ego-based mind, your heart is ready to begin a new day.

And so we go…

with more love.

6 thoughts on “What’s True”

  1. I tried to post you back on your site but it said unable to post. I will try this way Told you how very much I love your stories on the Hourglass Journey. Wish I had made copies to keep and pull out to read when I need cheered up or have the blues. The ones you have written since Alan’s death are especially precious. Heartbreaking and raw thoughts but uplifting snd hopeful too. If I lose my Steve before he loses me,I know beyond a doubt that reading your thoughts would help me thru my grief. I may have to start saving them someway. Thanks for being so open to sharing your heart. Love Alan’s Whispers too.♥️

    Sent from my iPad

    1. I’m so grateful for you, Kristin. I’m not sure why you were unable to post but will see if there is a bottom to it. My words are starting to flow again after a silent spell and will be sharing more soon. Thank you for appreciating what I do…it comes so naturally for me. But I can see how my story may be showing the way for some, and it feels just right. Sending so much love and appreciation…

  2. Thanks again Mary Lou for giving me some insight into grief. I have several friends who have lost either their husband at too young of an age or the loss of a Grandson at the hands of suicide. I know especially this time of year is difficult and, even though, they are with us celebrating the Holiday, they are not fully encompassed with us. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

    1. You are so welcome, Cassie. I feel for your friends, especially the parents who have lost children to suicide. I can’t imagine how they meet each day. Grief, no matter what, is intense and the Holidays magnify it in ways that can be unexpected. I’ve been quieter than usual and see now that weeks have passed since writing. Throw in a snowstorm and business to run… and well, I know you get the picture. I wish you the very best of New Years, my friend, and so much fun while adventuring. Sending love…

  3. Marylou this message is so beautifully presented. I just have no words 😶. Every time I read something from you &Alan’s whispers that intrigues me to do a bit of soul searching.
    I love you always ♥️♥️ And so we go…

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