Covid, Grief or is it Me?

These past few years have been draining for all of us, in ways that are still being calculated.

When Life has had its way with you in other ways, it can be even more confusing, evaluating what came first, the chicken or the egg, so to speak.

The feelings of isolation that continue because of isolating from Covid, or the normal isolation one feels when grieving.

Add to that a natural state of isolating due to an introverted nature and you are one isolated “puppy.”

Covid is still having its way with some, but the numbers are low and mostly people are reporting mild to bad cold symptoms, in our area anyway.

So far, my family and I have been exempted but there’s a lot of “knocking on wood,” going on.

I see a lot of muddling going on, too.

Muddling through the invisible walls erected between people and businesses, a looking down instead of looking out or into the eyes of passersby.

Muddling through uncertainty and confusion, trusting what we see as real…or not.

Muddling takes on different shapes depending on our circumstances.

Some are grieving canceled travel plans and lost freedom in retirement.

Others are grieving the future of our country, planet, our whole world.

Grief is another thing for those who’ve lost loved ones to Covid or any other illness going around, take your pick.

Some of us have lost income and any semblance of normalcy and yet we keep going, trying different ways and for some of us, while grieving.

I never was the type of person who needed entertaining or busyness for the sake of distraction.

I don’t mind being alone but now I’m noticing new patterns have taken root. 

You won’t find me shopping much or hanging out in bars, except on Friday nights at Lucchesi’s for open mic. 

Or an occasional meet up with friends.

Several days a week I’m with my family and grand babies helping or they’re helping me, is a more accurate reality.

Still there is a quietness to my bones.  A quietness in my step and a quietness in my life. I don’t have as much to say.

I don’t know much.

I look at people and can almost sense the way they are muddling through and developing coping strategies.

For some it is anger and blaming, for others it is preaching or staying above the fray. 

Most muddling is invisible, and the reasons are unknown, except to the muddler, maybe.

 So… I think it’s best to be kind.

And know…

4 thoughts on “Covid, Grief or is it Me?”

  1. You are right..when in kind. When there is a void fill it with kindness. When you are hurting..that is the Time to be kind to yourself. Kindness is the universal antidote!

  2. So true!! All the muddling. It has been somewhat exhausting, but I too, manage the isolation, while looking back at times gone by where it was not even a thought. I do find joy in creating and reading and whatever during this time. Please keep creating and writing, your art and creativity is a blessing to so many that you have never even met.

    1. I hear you, Linda…muddling can be exhausting and yet we are still moving, it’s true. Even in the muddling! I am glad to know you are creating and finding Joy in your days. We are all in this together! Thank you for your kind and generous encouragement. I will keep doing what I do… with love

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